My exams are all done with, I have a shiny new monitor for my PS3 and I now have a week off before the new semester starts! I got an email newsletter from the local anime society today which inspired me to write a (rather self-indulgent) blog post.
Back when I was applying to university, I made a point of looking at the social side of the university – specifically the clubs and societies – because I was looking forward to the prospect of finding more people who I shared hobbies with. I was really excited to see that Sheffield – my first choice for educational reasons – also happened to be home to an anime society. I was accepted to Sheffield to study Japanese, and of course I joined the anime society right away.
As a first year I really enjoyed being part of the society – everything was new and shiny and I got on well enough with the members. The society held its roughly annual charity fundraising ‘all-nighter’ in which members pay a fee that goes to a charity and spend 28 hours watching anime. This was loads of fun, since some of the members at the time were highly knowledgeable about older and more obscure anime, which I feel really broadened my horizons as an anime fan. I watched Cowboy Bebop for the first time, a long overdue introduction to a classic among Western anime fans.
As a second year, a few months in things began to go down hill a little. This was nothing to do with the club members as a whole, or the anime being shown – it was the unfortunate consequences of a short, disastrous relationship and a really messy breakup (that was woefully prolonged against my will) with a classmate who was also a member of the anime society. It was an interesting year in other ways, though. We had some of the Japanese exchange students join the society (which later resulted in my contribution to a doujinshi) and I also got on really well with some of the new first year students. The society showed Revolutionary Girl Utena as part of that year’s lineup, something I had heard a lot about but never watched for myself, to mixed reactions from the society members, and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann which was loved by everyone.
Then came the year abroad, so of course I couldn’t be part of the anime society that year. I actually found myself watching far less anime while living in Japan than I had done in the UK, but on the other hand I made plenty of trips to Akihabara, conventions like Comiket and Wonder Festival, and of course I bought a lot of manga and figures. I branched out into things that would challenge my Japanese reading abilities, and I began to read less and less scanlations for lack of need.
Now I’m in my fourth and final year, and something seems to have gone rather wrong with me and my relationship to Sheffield Anime. When the list of titles for the first semester were posted, I was disappointed. There was one show I really wanted to see, and one show that I liked but had already seen. Nothing else caught my eye at all (and some of it actively repelled me!) which is something I never experienced in my first two years there. There was always enough ‘hey, that looks interesting’ to balance out the ‘not my sort of thing’ and my taste in anime isn’t all that narrow. I went along anyway, just to see if the social side could make up for things. Having been away for a year, I now found myself with two years worth of people I did not know (this year’s new students, and last year’s who I never met). There were certainly people I knew part of the society as well, but everything was out of sync – few people had even heard of the anime I liked, post-showing socials were spent talking about video games I don’t play and internet memes I don’t care about. Half way through the semester I just stopped going, not an intentional break, but rather a lack of motivation to go and stress from the workload on my course.
Today they sent out the newsletter with the new anime for the Spring semester, and I was hoping for something more interesting but my reaction was about the same as last time, and this time I know the social side isn’t going to make up for that. Now, I didn’t write this post with the aim of complaining that the society don’t cater to my interests. Rather, I simply don’t ‘belong’ there any more. When I was a new student, I had never met so many anime fans in real life before and I felt a sense of community, but now simply being an anime fan isn’t enough for me to have common ground with someone. We’re all anime fans and most like gaming as well, but aside from that I have very little in common with any of the society members.
Did my taste in anime change irrevocably during my year abroad so that I can no longer relate to the average British anime fan? Am I a different person now, more suited to different social circles (certainly my social circle is drastically different now to the one I had as a second year)? Did this year’s committee simply pick a poor lineup of anime? I don’t really know, but I can definitely say that my time at Sheffield Anime has come to an end. I’m going to miss seeing the members I do get along well with, whose departments are so different that I never see them around the university, but there’s no use in trying to force myself to be a part of something that just isn’t working for me any more. I’m still going to keep watching anime, but no more anime clubs for me, I think. I’m not going to make an announcement of my leaving (and I haven’t mentioned this blog before) or anything like that, but I won’t be going again.
hey, something like this happened to me a couple of years ago. I got tired of my otaku friends and decided to quit for a while (almost a year). I did it because I needed some time to think (about life and whatever, it was more like a vacation from the otaku culture).
No need for drama here, remember ”if you don’t like eggs, don’t eat them”. You’re still a person that enjoys anime and otaku company, but too much of that gets you saturated.
I think it’s less a burnout than the fact that I spent a year away from it all and then came back and found I couldn’t relate to them any more. I guess I changed more than I realised? Previously I found it really hard to get along with people who didn’t identify primarily as geeks, and now it’s often the opposite. Which was kind of a surprising realisation for me.
Hey! It’s been some time! Welcome back. Hope your year in Japan was fulfilling and fantastic.
On the club – I was part of one of these in college and actually found the people to be full of it. They often would pride themselves on being of this culture – as outsiders who could not be understood by anyone but would in turn snub their noses at anyone who tried to join in who was not part of their ‘click’ and tried to join in at a later point, or didn’t share every single aspect of their likes.
It was completely counter-productive and incredibly hypocritical.
I never fit in and just sort of sat by and watch as they went so far as to invade my life by coming to my apartment which I shared with the anime club leader and taking over the space to play role-playing games. (and then had the nerve to make it as though I was an annoyance to them by just being there, playing my music THEY requested and not joining in because I had papers to write!)
I’m not saying that’s happening with you here but you know, interests change, people get older and/or wiser and others do not.
Sorry for the rant but good to see you again. Oh, and your Maya is beautiful. The camera work is stellar as well.
My year abroad was great, and I hope to go back there again after graduating.
Wow, your anime club sound pretty awful! Mine were generally very open and friendly, but it got pretty awkward for me in the end and eventually it just clicked that I had nothing in common with them any more. I think anime clubs are one of those things that sound amazing if you’ve never known that many anime fans in real life, but in reality of course they’re a mixed bag.
Thanks! I had to send most of my stuff back from Japan by sea so I didn’t get most of the outfits back until quite recently and I was glad to be able to photograph them again.
All good points re anime club. I was just unfortunate to meet some jerks. Ah well, it wasn’t a total loss I suppose.
I got to see some of “Bebop” too and Trigun. Plus I met one good person who is my friend to this day.
to be quite honest with you, i think its jsut the newer anime fans in general…it almost seems like everyone likes it now, not just that specific genre of sweet caring and nice geeks that it used to be.
Plus once you have learned…the more social side of Japan, or more along the lines of history, as you would by living anywhere new, Anime gets kind of boring and you start realizing the people who are interested in it, really no close to nothing at all, though they’d like to think they do, and they just become a real…unnatractive crowed really.
When I had dated a guy from tokyo my sophmore year of highschool, I started realizing these things quite early, I learned a lot about the culture, and to be honest as much as I loved it, and I do not think I know much at all but trying to make the point that, otaku society is very narrow minded.
I just started college and was talking to a japanese friend of mine about it the other day at school and they agreed, the anime community as a whole, as a general group of people has changed.
Plus animes now a days really arn’t as meaningful or as fun..like any hobby, you just sort of grow out of it. And hey I used to be very into visual kei for like 6 years, and the fashion and all, Then I really liked Korean pop culture…then moved on to Tibet and China, Started off with Australia and Africa, and you know now I just appreciate all culture from the world in general.
hopefully this made sense and didn’t seem biased in any way, just my personal expiriences relating to yours.
and at the beginning I kind of meant to point out, you start to realize that anime is less apart of the culture then you’d think : P
Not checked here in a lonnnng while, so was interesting to find this.
I’ve not really enjoyed the AnimeSoc much this year either, for pretty much the same reasons.. had the same kinda sense of not feeling like I really belong among the new members. It seems like things got really, really cliquey last year, and now everything just panders to the committee’s little social group.. Choice of series shown really reflects that, as its just a long list of all the stuff they currently really like. I’m still going, but Eleanor’s stopped, so I mostly just sit at the back with my laptop trying hard not to beat the people who attempt to sing along with Angel Beats’ opening to death with it.
On a sidenote, it’d still be nice to finally get over that short, disastrous relationship and a really messy breakup (that was woefully prolonged against my will) with a classmate and be friends again..
Wow, I didn’t expect to get a comment on this from you!
It’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one thinking that about the society. I had been thinking it was mostly me and the way I changed. I remember in previous years the committee usually asked for suggestions and recommendations in advance of each semester of potential anime to show at the society, but there doesn’t seem to have been any of that this year and I think the society loses out from that. I admit I’m thoroughly biased in that respect because I enjoy finding strange, obscure and older shows and I feel like this year’s titles are a bit on the mainstream side of things.
As for that sidenote, honestly I’m not even sure if I know how to be friends with you again. I don’t know what I’d talk about. I’m surprised you even want to be friends with me. My social circle really changed over my year at Tsukuba and I’ve carried that back to Sheffield with me, and found that I get along really well with all sorts of people I would never have expected to get along with (and they were pretty surprised that they got along with me – I didn’t really have any friends on the course in second year and people had all sorts of preconceptions about me). A lot of people never really saw ‘me’ – they just saw you and I was like an extension/add-on of that (and I’m not imagining this – I know it from others telling me this) and now I feel like I’ve been able to get to know people on my own terms at last. So if I seem awkward it’s because I don’t want to lose that.
No more than I expected to get a reply from you I’m sure! xD
The committee hasn’t really spoken with any of the regular members about anything this year, besides those who aren’t official committee members but live with or near them or whatever.. they just have their own little bubble which doesn’t really reflect anyone outside of it. Hoping it might burst next year with the new president, Sarah, as she’s not really been in with them for most of the year; but since they just picked her rather than having the position open for vote I’m not too optimistic. Know I’m gonna be voting for as few existing/lingering members as possible tomorrow..
I really don’t want to talk about second year any more than to say that I’ve never blamed you for any of it, no matter how much some people encouraged me to. It was just a mistake.. to start, to carry on, to finish like that.. and one way or another I’ve spent the past two years learning from it. Neither of us had dealt with any of that stuff before, it wasn’t ever gonna end well.. especially not with the state of mind I’d worked myself in to..
From what little I’ve seen of you you’ve definitely seemed a lot happier since getting back. I have still wondered how you’re doing from time to time. Not proposing a return to the old days, but it’d be cool to just hang out at some point. Think you’d get on well with Eleanor; in the middle of movies or conversations she’ll occasionally announce ‘NEW PAIRING’ at inappropriate times just a little too loudly, and watch the rest of us squirm in our seats.